By: JaTon Kılınç

Almost one year ago, I sat in the bedroom of the condo I share with my husband and made a list — the pros and cons of living in Turkey versus the Netherlands. I was restless, tired of putting my dreams on hold, yearning to finally experience life outside the United States.

I was weary of waking up each day to a job that no longer fulfilled me. Though I enjoyed the people I worked with and the industry I worked for, I wanted my life to mean more.

When the opportunity finally presented itself, we left.

Now, nearly a year later, I find myself writing another list — this time armed with the real-life experience of living abroad. And this time, the pros lean more heavily toward the Dutch.

I’m learning that ancient ruins and breathtaking sunsets over the Aegean Sea can’t entirely fill a void. I feel the same restlessness that once haunted me back in the States — except now, I can’t blame it on the monotony of work. I have freedom. I have time. And yet, something is still missing.

Maybe I can blame it on the lack of a car to drive down the steep cliffs I live on. Maybe it’s the absence of English speakers to chat with. Or maybe it’s the simple truth that one can’t visit ancient ruins every day. Even Indiana Jones didn’t spend every day on an expedition. Life, after all, happens in the spaces between adventures.

I do love the people of Turkey. Their warmth and hospitality are both refreshing and endearing — especially after a lifetime in the States, where acts of kindness are often met with suspicion.

But there’s a loneliness that comes with relocating, especially for chatty extroverts like myself.

The occasional balcony chat with my elderly neighbor — who swears I speak fluent Turkish — doesn’t quite count. I still speak with my daughter and my husband, who is back home selling our condo now that we’ve decided to build a life abroad. But even with those connections, I’ve realized something profound:

You can change your location, but everywhere you go, you still end up with you.

So, mes amies, I can tell you truthfully — you can indeed be lonely in paradise.

Beautiful sunsets, warm smiles, and ancient ruins can only fill so much of the heart.